


If Lev disappeared from this world

by Bokuroyaoya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Be Careful What You Wish For, Love Confessions, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22814425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokuroyaoya/pseuds/Bokuroyaoya
Summary: Sometimes you say things in a fight or in affect that you don't really mean. But what happens when you express a thoughtless wish and then fulfill it? One day Yaku has to ask himself this question.
Relationships: Haiba Lev & Yaku Morisuke, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	If Lev disappeared from this world

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've successfully finished in ages. Thus, I really hope you like it!  
> I just felt like contributing something to one of my favorite ships in the Haikyuu universe!
> 
> Have fun reading my story :3

It happened one sunny morning before morning training in the club room of the Nekoma volleyball team. Kuroo had once again gone too far with his jokes and made Yaku furious. At the latest, after he asked the libero to finally stand by his feelings and admit that he had a crush on Lev, Yaku's patience finally exploded. Blushing with anger, he jumped up, clawed Kuroo's collar, and shouted in his face: "Are you kidding me? I would prefer it if Lev wouldn't exist at all!"

The black-haired eyes widened in shock. Yaku let go of his collar and sighed in annoyance before turning to leave the club room. But before he could go out the door, he noticed that someone was standing there. It was Lev, with tears in his eyes and flushed cheeks. "Oh no", Yaku murmured softly to himself, giving himself an imaginary slap on the inside. He should have expected this idiot to listen to everything and react that way.

"Listen to me, Lev ... I didn't mean it like that-", but he couldn't speak any further because Lev shook his head violently and ran away.

"It's all your fault, Kuroo!" He snapped at the captain, rubbing his temples. "Well, by tomorrow, he'll have calmed down again."

Then, Yaku had no idea that he would bitterly regret the words he shouted out in emotion.

The next morning, Yaku was woken up by his alarm clock. He rubbed his eyes drowsily and stretched extensively with a loud yawn. After feeling halfway awake, he picked up his cell phone. Every morning after he woke up, he checked his messages before getting ready and going for breakfast. It was something like his daily morning ritual.

Surprised, he raised his eyebrows at the display. No new message from Lev? Was he still mad at his words yesterday? But it wasn't the first time he'd said anything mean about him. Lev usually got over it pretty quickly and forgave everything he said. Especially since he also knew that Yaku often said things that he didn't really mean. The libero got upset much too quickly, and his mouth often reacted faster than his brain.

Sighing annoyed, he packed his cell phone away and got up from his bed. Even if he really disliked even the thought of it, he decided to apologize to Lev before morning training today. If he was so pissed off and angry that he didn't send his "good night" and "good morning" SMS as usual, then it really had to be something serious.

When he got to school, he immediately made his way to the club room. He seemed to be the first to be here. Was he hoping to find Lev here before everyone else? He knew that the giant always came last and usually five to ten minutes late. This fact was one of the many things Yaku found annoying about the other. They always had to wait for Lev to start morning practice, and at some point, it really pissed him off.

Little by little, all the team members arrived and greeted him more or less enthusiastically. When everyone but one was finally there and moved, Kuroo said, "So now that we're complete, we can start warming up. I want everyone to find a partner to stretch. My partner will be Kenma." After this speech, he clapped his hands promptly.

"Stop, wait, wait! Shall we not wait for Lev?" Yaku threw in irritated. Had he just misunderstood, or had Kuroo really said "complete"? Did he just forget about the half-Russian, or was he fed up of always having to wait for him and thus lose ten minutes of valuable training time? It must have been the latter, right?

Kuroo looked at the libero carefully. He scratched his head and then looked at the others, who seemed at least as confused as he was. "Um ...", Kenma said quietly, "Who or what is that so-called Lev supposed to be?"

It almost seemed as if Yaku's mind had left his body. Suddenly his mouth was wide open, and his eyes widened. "You have to be kidding me, right? Is this some kind of revenge because of my behavior yesterday? If so ... I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean that at all. And this is not funny, so you can stop now."

Now the confusion on his teammates' faces became more of a concern. All eyes were on him. Some first graders, who usually only sat on the bench, whispered quietly to themselves.  
"Are you okay, Yaku?", Kuroo asked. "If you feel sick, you should go home. There is no Lev here, and there has never been either." He patted the younger boy cheerfully on the shoulder and smiled slightly. "You must have been dreaming badly, right? Better go to the hospital room today and rest a bit before class starts."

A few minutes later, Yaku was in bed in the school infirmary. His head pounded. Too many thoughts shot through his head at the same time, and he couldn't sort them out. He didn't know where to start and where to stop. The world around him seemed to be spinning.

Were his teammates for real? There was no Lev Haiba on the team, and there has never been one? But that couldn't be. Yesterday he was still training and made one mistake after another. He was standing in the club room yesterday and had tears in his eyes when he heard what Yaku said about him.  
He jumped at the thought and clawed his fingers into the sheet. What had he said yesterday?

_"Are you kidding me? I would prefer it if he didn't even exist at all!"_

When these words echoed in his head, he felt something damp run down his cheek. He stroked it with his fingertips and found that it was a tear. Has his "wish" been heard and fulfilled? Was Lev really gone from this world just because he wished he never existed?

More and more tears made their way across his face, and he tried to suppress this gush by pressing his face into his pillow. It just had to be a stupid joke, or maybe a terrible nightmare.  
Before he would finally despair, he had an idea. The best way to find out if his teammates were just trying to prank him or if Lev was really gone is to check his phone. He got countless text messages from the half-Russian every day. They couldn't have simply deleted them all.

Thus, he quickly reached for his cell phone and opened all the media he had ever used to communicate with Lev. The knowledge he gained from it only stabbed his heart. His name was nowhere listed, not even a single message from him. No sign anywhere that he had existed for him. No sign of Lev Haiba in his address book either. It really was as if he had never existed at all.

Yaku didn't know how to feel. An icy emptiness spread inside, followed by painful feelings of guilt. How could he undo it all? After all, he hadn't meant yesterday's stupid "wish". He didn't really want Lev to leave this world. That was only said in the heat of the moment. He would never have thought of what he would really do with these words.

When the bell rang at the beginning of class, he slowly made his way to his classroom. He had to do more research. During the break, he would check the lockers for the shoes. His name had to be somewhere there. It just had to be that way. Yaku didn't want to give up hope just yet. And if he didn't succeed, he had to ask Lev's classmate and his class teacher. There had to be at least one other person who could remember him.

It was difficult for him to concentrate on the teacher and the material. Feelings of guilt made him feel queasy in his stomach, which almost grew into abdominal pain. Kuros' worried looks, which he could feel on him, didn't make his mood any better. After all, it was he who was to blame for what he said yesterday. Had he not made him thus furious, he would never have said such cruel things, and Lev would still be here.

Lev would still be here and would greet him with a beaming, "Good morning, Yaku!" He would wave at him like a little girl and smile almost as bright as the sun.  
Yaku almost had tears at the thought of Lev's smile, but he was able to successfully suppress them. After all, he didn't want his classmates to think he wasn't doing well. He didn't feel like looking worried. People should be much more concerned about Lev's whereabouts than about his own gloom. He didn't deserve it.

During the break, Kuroo came up to him and patted him on the shoulder gently, as he did in the morning. "Are you feeling better? Were you able to recover a little?" This worried voice made Yaku furious again. He didn't want that. He didn't want it at all.

"Stop pretending I'm sick", he murmured, pushing the captain's hand away.

"What's wrong with you, Yaku? If you don't tell me what your problem is, then I can't help you either." – "I have no problem, damn it. At least none that you could help me with. So, I'd really appreciate it if you could just leave me alone already. I have urgent business to take care of." With these words, Yaku jumped up from his seat and made his way to the shoe lockers.

He searched every single locker. He even scanned each locker twice to make sure he hadn't missed anything. No chance, however. The name "Lev Haiba" was nowhere to be found. He was desperate.  
Now there was only one chance left. He had to find his classroom and ask his classmates. Maybe he'd find someone who was also able to remember the giant.

When he got to the classroom, he knocked lightly on the door before entering. All eyes went to him in surprise. It was not often that a third-grader got lost in the classroom of the first graders. "Um ... I'm sorry for the disturbance", he stammered, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Didn't Lev come to class today? He was not in training, so we were a bit worried and ..." He looked around hopefully, but only confused looks.

A girl got up from her seat and seemed to be considering. "Lev ... I've never heard that name before. Are you sure you are in the right classroom? What does he look like?" She asked him. "I'm pretty sure he is in grade 1-2 ... And, well ... he has silver hair, is about two meters tall, half-Russian..."

"Half-Russian? I'm not sure I've ever seen a half-Russian here at this school," answered a boy from the front row. "Someone two meters tall would catch your eye right away, right?" another girl said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

Yaku's face flushed. He felt like a complete idiot. "I'm sorry", he murmured quietly, then quickly ran out of the room. He ran towards the toilet and, when he got there, leaned against the sink with his hands.

A look in the mirror told him that he looked terrible. His eyes were swollen and red from crying, his hair was disheveled. In general, you could call him a heap of misery at that moment. You couldn't have found a better description of his current state.

Despite everything, he tried to pull himself together. Somehow, he would find a way to get Lev back. There had to be some way to undo his stupid "wish". Maybe he should just try again with wishes? If he could make him disappear with a wish, there must be the possibility to bring him back also with another wish. That would be only logical, wouldn't it?

The second third of the lesson almost flew by. He couldn't concentrate anyway and therefore hardly noticed anything. Most of the time, his thoughts revolved around Lev.

In the second break, Kuroo ordered him to spend time with him and the team's others to cheer him up a bit and distract his mind. So, they all gathered on the roof of the school building and ate their sandwiches there. Yamamoto and Kuroo were busy discussing something while the others flipped through a porn booklet. Kenma was leaning against the wall and playing with his PSP.

Since Yaku wanted to neither discuss with two idiots nor flip through a porn booklet, he decided to join Kenma. The setter didn't seem to care about the intruder of his calmness and silence because he moved a little to make room for the libero. He probably only did it because he also was worried, just like everyone who saw him today. Everyone tried to be considerate of him because they saw that he was obviously not doing well.

After a few minutes of silence, Kenma finally broke the silence, against all expectations: "If you want to talk about anything, do it quietly. I may not be able to help you further, but I can listen if that cheers you up."

Yaku was amazed, but he was also pleased about it. At least with Kenma, he knew that he would listen and answer sincerely. He wasn't an idiot like the rest of the team and didn't counter sarcasm like Kuroo all the time.

"Let's say you wish that someone didn't exist ... and that wish will come true. So, this person really disappears from this world, and nobody can remember them except yourself ... Isn't it almost as if you killed the person?" Tears rose again in Yaku's eyes. He turned to Kenma and looked at him desperately as he grabbed his shoulders. The blonde seemed visibly confused and startled. He almost dropped his PSP because he hadn't expected the libero's reaction. "Does that make me a killer, Kenma? Am I a murderer?!"

Suddenly it became quiet around him, and everyone looked at him with horror in their eyes. He winced and immediately let go of Kenma. "It's... I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on with me today ... Must be lack of sleep or something…"

"Is it still about this ... Lev ... thing?", Kuroo wanted to know. Yaku nodded, but shortly afterward, he shook his head and buried his face in his hands. He could no longer control the emotional chaos within him.

"Have you ever wondered what could be the reason why you're the only one who remembers this person? I mean ... if this person really existed, but they no longer exist ... there must be some reason why only you can remember them, right?"

There was no more than a sob from Yaku. He couldn't answer anymore. Aside from not knowing how to respond, his throat was tight. Even if he wanted, no sound would have come out.

"And if you wished that the person didn't exist, why are you so sad now? Shouldn't you rather be happy that your wish has been fulfilled?" Yamamoto asked. "That's right", Kuroo agreed. "Is it really just a feeling of guilt because you're responsible for someone's disappearance? Or is there more behind it?"

Silence.

It was the first time that Yaku had thought about it that day. Was it just guilt? Did he only feel guilty that Lev had disappeared and that he had, so to speak, murdered him, even though not actively? Or was there really more to it? What exactly was it that triggered this emptiness in him?

He thought hard about Lev. He immediately saw his smile in front of him. That innocent smile that shone brightly as if to compete with the sun. He heard the cheerful "Yaku" that he heard from his mouth at least hundreds of times a day. He saw a Lev trying and trying hard to train, even if he made many mistakes. He also saw a Lev who always stayed longer than everyone else and asked Yaku to support him with individual training and give him tips to improve.

He had always known it. He just never wanted it to be true. He had ever known that the feelings he developed for the half-Russian over time were not normal feelings you usually had about a teammate. When he saw Lev try and never give up, no matter how much Yaku scolded him, his heartfelt warm. When Lev was as happy as a little child as soon as he was praised by Yaku for doing something well, his heart was pounding faster than he wanted.

Everything indicated that he had fallen in love. He could no longer deny it. Still, he didn't want it to be true. This was also the reason why he overreacted when Kuroo put him under so much pressure. He didn't want anyone to know about his feelings for the half-Russian. Especially not Lev. He was afraid that he would no longer wish to have one-on-one training with him if he ever found out. He would avoid him and no longer shout his name, beaming with joy every morning. He would no longer stick his head out after doing something right to be praised by Yaku with a pat. He didn't want to miss all these little things in his life.

That's why he said this stupidly to Kuroo. And it was precisely this stupidity that took away everything important to him. Anything he didn't want to miss was only taken away by a rash sentence, and he didn't know if he could ever undo it all.

Yaku had drawn up his legs, clutched them with his arms, and leaned his forehead against his knees. He was embarrassed that all his teammates could see him in this wretched condition. He wanted to sink into the ground and disappear from this world like Lev. He felt so ridiculous.

"I miss him", he murmured softly, hoping that none of the attendees could have heard. But judging from the reaction, everyone understood exactly what he said. They all looked at him. Kuroo visibly grinned. Kenma just rolled his eyes at the sight of the captain and sighed loudly.

"I wish he was back here. I wish I could hear his voice once again." It was extremely embarrassing to say these words. Still, he hoped his words would bring Lev back. If he had managed to make him disappear with his words, it had to be possible to get him back, after all.

"Do you really mean that? Do you really miss me?"

Yaku jumped up and looked around frantically. Had he just heard Lev's voice there? Has his wish been heard? Did he finally make it?

He saw the half-Russian emerge from behind a wall. His eyes and cheeks were flushed, and his face was sad.  
Yaku could hardly believe his eyes. It was actually Lev.

Relieved, he jumped up and ran towards him. He had to make sure that this was really the real Lev and that he wasn't just imagining it all. Thus, he reached for his body with his hands and palpated it. Lev made a strange, high-pitched noise and held his hands up to his reddened face.

When the libero was finally confident that he did not just imagine all of this, he hugged his counterpart very tightly. "I'm so sorry I made you disappear, Lev. I will never say such a foolish thing again in the future!"

Kuroo and Yamamoto burst out laughing at the sight. Lev was still holding his hands over his face while Yaku was clinging tightly to his stomach. Furious, the libero turned his head to the two and hissed at them: "What is there to laugh about, you idiots? After all, it was you guys who forgot about him! You…"

"Yaku ..." Lev interrupted. "That's not quite true. They have not forgotten me ... And I have never disappeared from this world."

He was visibly confused and let go of the half-Russian. He took two steps back and cast questioning looks at everyone present. What did that mean?

Kenma spoke up first: "I told you it was an idiotic idea."

After Kuroo had calmed down from his little laughing fit, he tried to explain the situation: "Lev came to me yesterday very sad because you said something nasty about him. Then I suggested he prank you." Lev hastily interrupted the explanation: "I was against it at first! Believe me, I didn't really want that. Yamamoto and Kuroo forced me." The captain just grinned. He didn't even consider it necessary to invalidate this claim. After all, everyone present knew it was true.

"Anyway, we sneaked your cell phone during the training and deleted all of his messages as well as his contact details from it. We pasted his name on the shoe lockers and even inaugurated his classmates. If someone came to his classroom to ask about him, everyone would pretend they didn't know who this Lev should be. We even negotiated a deal with the class teacher to get him involved. It was the perfect set-up to give you a little memo."

He started laughing again. "You should have seen yourself all day today. Adorable, how desperate you were, and… argh…" Yaku had kicked him with his leg. His face was red with anger.  
"So, you all duped me? You just wanted to make fun of me?" he shouted angrily. "And you also took part in it?" He turned to Lev and took a swing with his leg. But Lev jumped back a meter and waved his arms in fear. "I am so sorry! Kuroo said that if I play the whole thing, you will definitely stand by your feelings and accept me afterward... That gave me some hope and ... I'm really sorry, I didn't want to make you angry. Please forgive me, Yaku!"

"Stand by my feelings and accept you ...? What exactly do you mean by that?" The libero had calmed down a bit and forgot for a moment that the others from the team were still around him and Lev. "I ... I love you, Yaku. And when you said that you would prefer that I didn't exist, it hurt me greatly. I was hoping that you might also feel something for me or that you would at least like me as a friend, but I didn't realize that you hated me so much…"

A tear rolled down Lev's cheek. If he weren't so tall and Yaku was so small, Yaku would have loved to stroke the tear from his face. He was annoyed that he hadn't noticed the feeling of the half-Russian sooner. He always wanted to keep his feelings secret from him because he was afraid of rejection. He had never thought for a moment that his love could be returned. He wanted to slap himself in the face. How stupid he was.

He hugged Lev again. The man flinched briefly because he had expected a punch or kick rather than a hug. "I love you too, Lev. I don't mean what I said yesterday. I don't want you to disappear from the world, especially not from my world. Like an idiot, I tried desperately to find a trace of you today. Then I noticed that I can no longer run away from my feelings. I love you."

"I'm so happy, Yaku", Lev beamed over his ears and gripped the smaller one with a firm grip before lifting him up until they could both look into each other's eyes. Usually, Yaku would have gotten angry and kicked him, but now he was just happy. They both looked brightly in the eyes before kissing.

Everyone else in the team watched the spectacle with amusement, cheered, and applauded.

Sometimes it takes a little prank to guide two lovers on the right path.


End file.
